So I have probably already offended a lot of "yogis" out there by the title of the blog. If so, you can stop reading and go back to pretending that you don't have the same emotions too sometimes. But that is a fact - as humans, we go through a variety of emotions - including many negative ones that we may not be proud of. As was the case of myself yesterday. I was just pissed-off.
You ever have one of those days were you wake up and for no particular reason, you are just mad? Well, I do. Usually I can shake it, or "fake it until I make it." But even when I was doing so, faking it, that is, this overwhelming feeling of anger just hung over me.
I had some chai tea, went and taught a beautiful yoga class, and had lunch with someone I consider to be a very dear friend. Any one of these things should have made me feel better. And on the outside, I did. But, on the inside, I was still pissed.
I had several hours to kill before my own evening yoga class, and my husband had taken the dogs for me for the day (some other things that should have made me feel happier), so I ran some errands, drove slowly, and sat in the car in random places, breathing, noticing, and trying to determine where this energy was coming from and why it was still hanging around. I could have blamed it on many things, but the reality was, I had no good reason for being angry...I just was.
I decided to head to my Thursday evening yoga class early, park, read, and wait for class. But as my luck was having it, my "negative" energy drove my gps bonkers and I wound up re-routed so many times it took my an hour and a half to drive 32 miles. During said drive, I tried to maneuver through many congested areas in and around South Jersey. Nobody would let me in, a box truck literally cut me off and yelled me, and my car was reacting poorly to the wet road conditions. By the time I arrived in the town where I take my yoga class, I was really PISSED. Fuming. Steamed. Ready to tear off the first person's head that looked at me.
I wasn't surprised that my ride in had gone so poorly. I knew that my energy was literally throwing off my electronics and creating more negative situations, but I was just there, in it. The only thing that brought my any peace was the knowledge that I was finally at my destination early and could take my time relaxing before class. I could feel my energy starting to shift as I grabbed my mat, water bottle, towel, and hand-bag, and headed towards the studio. It was locked. I was 45 minutes early to class, so of course it was locked. I started to walk away when the teacher opened the door and called me back. I turned and smiled, walking inside, and starting to drop all my "stuff."
I took some time to lay out my mat, do a supported bridge, a few forward bends, and breathe. I took a moment to notice that the pissy energy was waning quickly. By the time we were in the throws of our yoga class, I was smiling, laughing at my practice, and throughly enjoying - loving - the moment. Nearly two hours later when I walked back to my car, soaking wet from a vigorous practice, I realized that the inner strength I found in my practice had completely moved the energy out.
I drove home peacefully, showered, and hung out with my husband and doggies, enjoying the rest of the evening before bed. The end of the day certainly was quite different from the first part of the day! Today I awoke feeling blessed and grateful. Why? Because if I hadn't felt pissy and crappy yesterday, I wouldn't have understood how good it was to be alive today.
So, the next time you are feeling angry, pissed-off, or any other emotion deemed "negative," let yourself FEEL those emotions. First of all because it is a part of being human. And secondly because when you do feel better - and you WILL feel better - you will appreciate it so much more.
“Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.” - Vanilla Sky