In her book of the Cards of AN Solara Anani writes, "Forlorn Fragment - Duality: You feel that a part of you is missing, but don't consciously know what it is. This may be an ancient part of you or a new level of your being that is being revealed."
I received this card as a part of a reading with Solara several months ago. I had not been myself for a while. I knew that something was missing, but I couldn't unearth the heart of this matter. Inquiry after inquiry drove me deeper into a spiral of knowing that my being was not whole, but not understanding what part was missing or how to get her back. Everything in my life was suffering - from personal to professional - and I was in serious trouble. My conscious mind kept saying, "release" but I had already done so much of this work that I was struggling with what more to let go of, and was down to the really important stuff too.
I reached out to a friend from Seminary school who was running the Interfaith Temple. Stacy took the time to talk with me and intuitively felt that my soul or part of my soul was not in my body. She guided me through a brief reclaiming of myself and we both felt a huge integration of her back into me. From this point on, everything started to shift forward from the stagnation to the negative backdrift I'd been living with.
My question to any readers is, how do you know when a part of you is missing?
And, how do you pull that missing fragment back once you determine what it is?
My feeling is that many of us are traveling through this period of time fragmented. Driven by intense energy shifts and completions of epic time periods, we all find ourselves being pushed to do the difficult work to put ourselves in the right places. Our Highest Self is complete and integrated with Oneness. Our lower self/ego can still be dragging his or her feet through duality based living. Even those of us who have done a lot of work, may find ourselves quite lost with the new landscape and unclear how to navigate back.
Feelings of loneliness, fear, anxiety, depression, and fatigue are great indicators that a piece of you is fragmented. If you are not flowing in a positive, forward direction of Creatorship, then a piece of you is surely fragmented.
As a seeker and a storyteller, I strive to understand the why's of the stuff. It was a serious of quite unfortunately (or fortunate if you wish) events led my being to fragment. Part of it was necessity to hold space for so many others during the past year and a half. A part of it was giving up my power to a narcissistic energy. Another part was my being needing to go through a toughening up. And still, more pieces of the puzzle were circumstances that I created by the choices that I made. All in all, I take full responsibility for this split, just as I relish in my ability to bring it all back home (even though I had a lot of help!).
Solara continues to write of Forlorn Fragment, "Oneness: You are now integrating your Forlorn Fragment into your full being."
Integration. The honest answer is that I let her go. I released the Divine Feminine from my life. I stopped chanting to her. I put away all my spiritual altars and dove into a deeper commitment to a Divine Masculine oriented world that I felt strongly pulled into working with, yet left me feeling quite uninspired and empty. But once she came back in, she arrived with a force.
Isis came first, bursting into my mudras with movement and flow. The winged-one arrived to show me my full vastness, power, intuition and magic. She and I are dancing together now and so many others are beginning to arrive. It's like a cocktail party without the alcohol but all the energy.
And of course if you know me then you know that I always share what I come to learn and know with my students and friends. As such, Divine Feminine offerings are pouring in. With much more to come, but so much gratitude for this deep and important fragment to be restored to my being.
Meditation for reclaiming your Forlorn Fragment:
Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight.
Place your right hand on your heart-center, and left hand on your solar-plexus. Begin deep breathing into your hands, connecting to your body.
After several minutes and when you feel grounded into your body, call the missing fragment back in by simply asking her (or him) to come home. Remind the fragment that he or she is an integral part of you and that it is safe to come back. You can speak to the fragment aloud or in your mind, but words said aloud hold great vibration, so I invite you to verbally recite the calling in.
Feel for or witness the fragment dropping back into your being.
Sit with this, or repeat it as necessary.
Always journal afterwards and spend quite time in contemplation.
In love, service and wisdom,
Rev. Dr. Tracey
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